Tag Archives: Blog


I’ve recently discovered ‘flexing’. What is that, you ask? I’m not convinced that anyone really knows for sure but I can tell you I think it’s very amusing. Flexing, or maybe I should call it ‘flexin’, isn’t the thing that happens when you tense your muscles – well, it is the thing that happens when […]

Disappointing Things About Being an Adult

When I was little, I was excited about the prospect of adult life. I envisaged a whole world of adventure and possibility and no one around to tell you what to do. When you’re a kid, adults seem like they have their shit together and things make sense to them and they know about stuff […]

Trostlose Frau (Short Story) Part Two

[Read part one of this short story here] Trostlose Frau – Two Police Constable Atkinson drove her patrol car in no particular hurry along the ambling A457. The country road was popular with motorcyclists on dry days due to its sweeping cambered corners, technical chicanes, and many opportunities for full-throttle hair-raising recreation. She thought about […]

That’ll Keep ‘Em Out

Well the good news is that I won’t be having problems with rabbits eating the vegetables in the garden any more, thanks to my firm but fair method of pest control (see below). The bad news is that I don’t think it’ll work for the squirrels because they’re crafty little buggers and I think they’re […]


It’s April Fool’s day tomorrow, so now seems like a good time to tell you about the running joke I’ve been playing on my Mum for the last couple of years. Like any sensible grown-up she writes food shopping lists and leaves them in the kitchen, adding to them whenever food inspiration strikes and eventually […]

2016 (Advent Calendar)

Ha-HA! The penultimate day of 2016. I’m stoked on 2017 mainly because I’ve got a friggin’ amazing Lonely Planet 2017 calendar and the photo for January is totally sick! Move over, 2016, you’re so last year. I mean, let’s not be ungrateful here because 2016 started off pretty OK. Admittedly it slid more and more […]


Christmas is Christmassing here at Lucia HQ. And by that I mean it’s doing the best it can considering we’re all ill and unenthused and in bed by 9.30. I’ve been doing a terrible job of eating loads (even the beloved Lebkuchen isn’t going down very well) but I’ve done excellently at lounging around like a fat […]

Giant Banana Peel

Well, we can’t deny it any longer; it’s now definitely autumn and that means time for my customary rant about how I don’t really like autumn but if I think about it I suppose there are a few things that are good about it and therefore life goes on because everything will be fine in […]

Forgetting Things

I like the concept of forgetting things.I also like the concept of losing things: You own something, it exists somewhere – you just don’t know where it is. You did, at some point, know where it is because you put it there – and, chances are, being an inanimate object that cannot move by itself, […]

Menu Project

If you know me even a little bit you’ll quite quickly figure out that I’m a big fan of satire and when left to my own devices in terms of creativity I always make something terribly sarcastic and ironic. It’s really fun. So the next challenge I set myself was to typeset a menu but […]