Giant Banana Peel

Well, we can’t deny it any longer; it’s now definitely autumn and that means time for my customary rant about how I don’t really like autumn but if I think about it I suppose there are a few things that are good about it and therefore life goes on because everything will be fine in the end. Why don’t I like autumn? Because I am never, ever, EVER ready to say goodbye to summer (oh, glorious long days and big skies and warmth) and I really don’t do well in cold weather. Plus my hair looks like a tumble weed from October onwards which I do not appreciate. Now, I know this about myself, so, to ease the pain a little I came up with some ‘fun’ stuff to do when the weather turns. Wholesome, indoorsy stuff… like sewing. I had visions of myself whiling away the hours, totally absorbed in the hypnotic endeavour of stitching fabric together, creating a beautiful masterpiece that I will love and wear forever. I pictured myself sitting with my vintage sewing machine (because I’m super hipster and cool and it was £20 off eBay) next to the roaring fire while the autumnal rain lashes at the window.

What I decided to make, with this romantic vision in mind, is a cover for my surfboard – a sock, as they’re humorously called in the industry. As I’m sure you’ll know, everything to do with surfing is eye-wateringly expensive, so I wanted to kill two birds with one stone by making my own sock and saving money, and having an enjoyable indoor activity as well. I bought a cheery yellow material because yellow is great, painstakingly measured out my board and made a newspaper blueprint. But, you see, the problem with sewing is that I get about a third of the way into a project and remember, with a slow dawning, that I’m awful at sewing and everything I make looks like an angry duck made it. No offence to the duck, of course, it’s just that sewing isn’t his strong point. Nor mine, apparently. My surfboard cover looks like a giant banana peel. Seriously, it’s terrible. I cursed myself: Why can’t I just buy one like everyone else? Why do I always have to try and make stuff?

Luckily, I don’t take surfing very seriously. Some people take surfing very seriously. I’ve seen people with boards and board bags monogrammed in fancy script writing – Richard Cluckington or whatever. While still a little upset about my lack of sewing talent, I’ve come to accept my terrible sock. I wanted to do my own monogram to really give it that edge – a rubbish one to match the rubbish sock. So here it is:img_0625

So, uh, see you down the beach, yeah? I’ll be the one with the stupid yellow banana board.

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