January Is The Longest Month

If you’ve been in a coma since the start of 2016 (which, let’s face it, most of us have) let me give you an update; it’s week 1486 of January, year 2759; my skin is so pale I’m almost translucent; the entire world has run out of money; there are only three hours of daylight per day; I hung up my washing in 2409 and it still isn’t dry; my shoes dissolved in the evil, perpetual mud long ago; oh, and it’s STILL fucking January.
Today is the 30th and I can’t flippin’ wait for February. Compared to January, February is a walk in the park. A gentle spring breeze. A warm towel after a dip in a deep icy plunge pool. You get the picture.
It was, however, pretty quiet at work this month (many people took to drawing eyes on their eyelids and napping in their office chairs from 9 to 5.30) so I had the opportunity to direct and film a video and also mess about on InDesign and Illustrator. The video was quite unexpected, as the team won some sort of corporate unemotional award and thus had to produce a video about how awesome we are. Luckily the proofreader is secretly a talented scriptwriter and I happen to know a little bit about filming so we got together and planned the thing, arranging a day to film and organising props and character roles and so on. I’ve never directed a whole team of people before, so while it was easy and fun to put the scriptwriter’s ideas into a storyboard and bring the concept to life, it was a test to keep all the ‘actors’ focused, to nail their lines, to get the shots in the limited time, battle against a camera that wasn’t cooperating, and to politely tell people why we can’t suddenly include a shot of a T-Rex devouring a roast dinner or have everyone say their lines from a canoe. So, while it was stressful for me I think from the outside it looked like an organised and calm affair, which is the key – make it look like you know what you’re doing.
After the filming chaos I had some fun exploring the truly mammoth programme that is InDesign. I use it every day but it’s an incredible learning experience to test what it can do and familiarise myself with its endless features. In the end I put together a bogus newspaper with headlines such as ‘Loggers fell the Enchanted Forest’ and ‘Robin Hood arrested for tax fraud’, for some reason, and rustled up a logo for a sinister airline company which I named Wreckless Airlines. Even though it took me no time at all, I’m actually pleased with the finished product and I put it here in the Design section of this humble site. I went for a kind of danger/blood smear look which I think is jolly nice.

If you haven’t already, check out last month’s ramblings – you can navigate there by pressing the orange writing next to the improbably tiny arrow below the comments box – and, until next time, make the most of today and tomorrow because (devastatingly) we only get one January a year.

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